jayanti_blog

Dear Yogis,

I just wanted to write and ask you to let me know if my ego ever gets inflated. Please pull me up by my yoga toes and let me know.

I say that to say that we all know of famous yoga teachers who have slid down a slippery slope because of unchecked ego. I remember when I got my 200 hr. certification around 8 or 9 years ago and I felt like I was queen of the hill. Because I could talk about Yoga Chitta Vritti Nirodha in front of a bunch of people, had a lot of life experience under my belt and knew about chakras way before I did teacher training, that I could solve everyone’s problems and maybe even effect world peace. I found myself doing anything BUT mindful listening. I could not wait for a student/friend/partner to finish their sentence before I was saying “You need to …. (whatever).

Then one day, my life was reeling out of control. Devastating relationship breakup, huge financial issues, problems with my children and I realized…I did not know *excuse swearing* shit. Life put her foot on my chest and said “So, you think you are a yoga teacher and you are gonna help everyone levitate because you have all the answers. Well honey, you better get your own act together.”

So, I did. The first step was to admit that all of that stuff did not matter: teacher training, years of studying spirituality, life experience…unless I learned to accept people, places and things exactly where they are and that the best teaching I could gvie was to set an example. An example of finding stillness in my life and bringing that energy into my classes and my interactions with others. The stillness of being able to sit with an open, accepting and compassionate heart with another human being without the need to “fix” him or her. I had to learn to sit with me first.

Am I perfect, oh heavens no, but I am awake and the more I practice, the better I get at it.

Namaste and deep hearted love and gratitude for my growing at YD,
Jayanti

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